She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
