Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize