i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
