I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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