id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
