I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
