Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
