We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
