dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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