You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
