you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
