At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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