Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
