Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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