Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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