you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
