Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its not stalking. its research.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize