for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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