Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize