i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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