Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
