Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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