you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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