My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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