I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
