Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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