I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
