the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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