Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
