Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
