conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
