youre lurking in front of me
My liver just broke up with me...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
