i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
