Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
