life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize