Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
