A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
