what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.