Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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