Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???