I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.