Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
