Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
