somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize