he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
