You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
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Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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