4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
