so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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