he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Randomize
