He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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