She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
