this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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