Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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