I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
