Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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