Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
