Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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