Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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