You can't special order awesome
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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