I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
