From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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