yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
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you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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