So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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