Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
