some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
