i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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