I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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