Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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