I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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